Place in my Heart
by FirstXeNOCiDE
Summary: Kouta sits in front of the old grandfather clock deep in thought when someone startles him. R&R Please.
1. Feelings Revealed

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Elfen Lied. All I can hope for is the creator will create a sequel to this awesome anime.

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**Place in my Heart**

**Chapter I Feelings Revealed**

**A**s he watched the arm rock back and forth in it's case his mind was crazy in thought. The broken music box housing the sea shell that was given to him out of the purest of love sitting beside it. All of his saddest memories of his past were grouped together in this one spot and yet he could not turn away from them. Every night after the old grandfather clock reawakened he would sit in front of it and remember. Remember all the happy memories of the now deceased Nyu. Remember the short time he had with Lucy, both childhood memories and the more recent encounter with her.

He was now able to distinguish between Nyu and Lucy. After that incident at the bridge, their exchange on the steps, and a lot of thinking in front of the clock he finally came to realize what was happening ever since Nyu/Lucy came into his adult life. His mind would often trail back to the exchange at the bridge, more specifically, to the kiss. Through all of the other events that one seemed to shine above them all. If only he hadn't been so weak, if only he would have not let her go.

Flashback

Kouta looks down the steps at the woman he both loved and hated as she walked down towards the darkness. They both knew where her final destination was and it wasn't to go down to the beach for another sea shell. The look in her blood red eye before her departure was all the communication she gave him, but was all that was needed. As he watched Lucy walk down the steps his mind was being torn apart. Part of him wanted Nyu to stay so the 5 of them could live together forever. He knew that could never happen, common sense told him otherwise. The fact that all those soldiers were trying to kill her told him that they wouldn't give up that easily. If they didn't get their mark they would persist until Lucy and all who were associated with her were killed. Kouta couldn't put Yuka and the others through the trials of death for his own selfish reasons.

Kouta watched as she walked into the darkness, walked out of his life. He sat down and laid his head into his hands, tears began streaming down his arms. 'Why did things have to be this way, why couldn't there ever be any happy endings' he thought as he continued grieving to himself. He sat for a few minutes after her departure before slowly getting up and headed for his final destination, home. He wondered if it would ever really be 'home' without her. Sure, he had Yuka, Nana, and Mayu there, but Nyu was what brought them all together. Kouta walked through the door that lead to the yard and turned around to close it. What he heard next would haunt his dreams for many nights to come. He heard the very faint command "Fire!" and hundreds of bullets ring through the air. As he shut the door one final tear descended from his chin towards the earth below.

End Flashback

He felt a tear slowly forming in his right eye but he struggled to hold it in. Try as he might he couldn't shake the memories of the one that he had loved, the one he lost, the one he would never see again. The time the grandfather clock came to rest so long ago was when time really started for Kouta. While the clock was motionless his experiences with Nyu were burned into his head. If only time would have stopped like the grandfather clock had he would have been the happiest man alive, just Kouta and Nyu in each other's arms forever. After that day when the clock reawakened he secluded himself into his own thoughts, not really participating in any of the activities around the house. All of the people in the house knew why he was so depressed, but nobody could come up with anything to say in attempts to alleviate the pain he was feeling.

Kouta is snapped back to reality by a familiar female voice, her voice slicing through his defenses because he wasn't expecting anybody to be awake at this hour. "Kouta, are you ok?" Nana's voice echoed through his ears as he sensed an amount of concern he wasn't expecting from the naïve girl with horns.

"Nana, what are you doing up this late," Kouta replied as he looked up at her as she walked down the stairs. She was wearing the night gown that Yuka had given her which in some way had eased the man's thoughts.

"Nana's going to get a glass of water, " Nana said as she was staring at the ground, pretending to be watching where she was walking. Nana immediately felt bad for lying to Kouta, in truth she had wanted to walk with him about Lucy. Though it was a sensitive subject, she knew that if anybody should talk to him about Lucy it should be her. She felt like it was her responsibility to discuss such matters about other diclonius.

"What are you doing awake at this hour Kouta?" said Nana in an attempt to get a strait answer but not expecting one. Her eyes wandered over at the grandfather clock and music box that were directly in front of him.

Kouta followed her gaze and knew that it was pointless to avoid her. She knew exactly what he was thinking about and wasn't going to let him off as easily as Yuka and Mayu have been. She wore a look of sadness and understanding on her face that completely broke through the wall that he had slowly built while sitting in front of Nyu's shrine. "I was just thinking about Nyu and Lucy."

Nana wore a smile on her face as she sat next to Kouta. She hadn't thought he'd be so willing to talk with her about such a sensitive subject. "I know you miss her Kouta, we all miss her. Nyu had such a pure heart, she was always so nice to everybody." She paused, trying to think of something to cheer him up. Her train of though was interrupted by Kouta's reply.

"Nana, do you think I made the right decision when I let Lucy walk out of my life?" Kouta's eyes pleaded with Nana's to answer truthfully.

"Though I wasn't there I think it was more Lucy's decision than yours," Nana said surprising herself with the works that flowed out of her mouth. She made it sound as if Lucy didn't want to stay with him and that wasn't what she meant. Through the thoughts exchanged between diclonius she knew that all Lucy ever wanted was to be with her Kouta. She knew it'd be best to withhold that information from him since it would crush him.

"You're right Nana, she left on her own. I just wish . . ." He trailed off as his mind drifted to the special place in his memory, ". . . wish that kiss would've lasted forever."

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**A/N:** Well, there's my first fanfic. Regardless of whether you like it or not, please review. This could be a one shot but I think I will continue, depending on whether or not reviewers want it to continue. I will be leaving Iraq soon so if reviewers like it I will try to get 1 or 2 more updates in before I leave. I'm sure there are plenty of errors splattered all over this fic. I haven't written anything like this for quite a while, I apologize in advance. Inspirational music played while writing fic: Pink Floyd – Momentary Lapse of Reason & Pink Floyd – The Wall. 

**-FreshMeat-** I expect that error to be fixed:-


	2. Papa

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Elfen Lied, Periodly.

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**Place in my Heart**

**Chapter II Papa**

"You're right Nana, she left on her own. I just wish . . ." He trailed off as his mind drifted to the special place in his memory, ". . . wish that kiss would've lasted forever."

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'**W**hat!' Nana's jaw dropped as she heard the last part, 'the kiss?' She wasn't expecting to hear that they shared an intimate moment. To hear that from Kouta, especially since he was being so secluded, was quite a shock. 'Why is he so willing to share his feelings with me,' she wondered. 'Is it because I'm a diclonius like Lucy? Why didn't he tell Yuka of such things?' Nana couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation for his sudden disclosure of his most precious memory of Lucy. 'Why did Lucy leave after such a show of affection?' Nana tried to figure out the reason as they sat in silence, both deep in thought about what was just said.

Nana then remembered when Lucy saved her from the man who killed Papa. 'Live with Kouta and do what I could not,' she had told her. Nana thought about this for a minute while Kouta sat there in a daze, thinking about the kiss he had spoke of. Suddenly Nana's face went completely red and she shifted her position, suddenly uncomfortable being so close to the man sitting next to her. Kouta snapped out of his little fantasy world when he felt Nana stirring around next to him. He looked over at a bright red face staring back at him, the face turning almost as quickly as he turned towards it.

"I'm going to get that glass of water," Nana spat out before Kouta could say anything. She got up keeping her face turned away from his view and walked towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. Kouta just sat there dumbfounded as he watched the horned girl walk away towards the sink. 'Why did she suddenly do that' he thought to himself as he got up and walked towards the kitchen after Nana. Something about the way she reacted just then reminded him of Lucy. After Nana finished her glass of water Kouta walked up behind her and put his arm on her shoulder.

"Nana," his voice almost at a whisper, "I just want you to know that . . ." He paused for half a second trying to find the words he was searching for. "Nana, you will always have a home here, with me, and with Yuka. Yuka doesn't understand, but I know what they would do to you if you were found. I will do everything I can to protect you from those people who got Lucy. As long as I live you will have a place to call your home."

"Kouta," was all she could say, she shot into Kouta's arms. She buried her head into Kouta's chest, his shirt being saturated by her tears. Her head was swimming in memories of her Papa, how he saved her. Then her thoughts drifted to when Kouta took her in even after what she had done to Nyu; how he tried to save her from Mariko when she was killing her slowly. She was overjoyed with the thought of staying with Kouta. She knew that the outside world would look at her as a threat to humanity, but Kouta, Yuka, and Mayu looked at her with nothing but love in their hearts. All she ever wanted in the world was to be accepted for who she really was, not a diclonius, but a girl in search of a loving parent. Until that moment the only person she thought could fill that void was her Papa. "Papa," she called out.

Kouta was not expecting the sudden outburst of emotion to come from the horned girl. 'Apparently she was troubled just as I was, though for different reasons' Kouta thought as he held Nana, trying to ease her sudden show of grief. He didn't know who her 'Papa' was but Kouta determined that he had either left her like Mayu's parents, or he passed away. He couldn't help but think that, with all the destruction going on lately, that her Papa wasn't among the living. He dare not ask, especially not now. For now all he wanted to do was shield her from the pain that threatened her heart, to protect his 'daughter'. At the thought of that Kouta couldn't help but smile, though, under those circumstances, wasn't the time for one.

"Let's go get some sleep," Kouta pulled her out of the embrace and lead her towards the stairs. They walked up the stairs silently, both tired from the over-exertion of built up emotions that had come to surface. They stood at the fork in their destinations only momentarily, pausing to look at each other, before slowly starting their individual treks to their beds. Kouta arrived at his destination first, pausing to look at his bed. "Oh how I wish you were here to share my bed with," Kouta whispered to his room. The room responded by giving him a cold chill down his spine in hopes that he'll just shut up and go to sleep. Well, at least that's what Kouta thought about the sudden chill he felt as he got into his bed. "I'd better get some sleep," he whispered to the room again in hopes that it would at least grant him easy passage into the sleeping realm. It did.

Nana reached her room and paused at the doorway to look inside. She looked over at Mayu who was sleeping soundly. She quietly walked over to her bed and glanced at the little girl who was still out cold. Nana got under the covers of her bed and lay there staring up at the ceiling. She was dreading going to sleep because she knew she would have that dream again. 'More like a nightmare,' she thought as she continued to gaze into the darkness. She was fighting a loosing battle and she knew better. Slowly her eyes would close, then a few seconds would pass and they'd jerk back open again just to have the cycle repeated. Finally she gave up and her eye lids became her new infatuation. Her breathing steadied and she quickly fell into deep sleep much to her dismay.

-Nana's Dream-

Nana opens her eyes, her vision turns from the darkness of her closed eyes to the brightness of the room she was occupying. 'Where am I? What in the world is this place?' She looks to her left only to find her wrist bound to a white board. Feeling she couldn't move her right arm she assumed her right wrist was bound as well. She didn't bother to look because a spec of green in an otherwise white room caught her eye. She stared at the spec as it slowly grew, almost like it was sprouting from the ground. Soon more followed until all she could see on the ground was green. When they stopped growing Nana's eyes grew wide for she saw hundreds of paper money bills all around her. One stepped out in front of the rest as if to greet her but it was no friendly greeting she received.

"You dare burn us!" The leader of the papers screamed, obviously furious of her previous assaults towards his fellow paper populous. "You shall feel the wrath of the Yen God!" He caught fire as soon as he called out to his god, as did the rest of the papers. They all ran up to where the poor girl was bound and began to engulf the wooden post that her legs were tied to. "Stop!" she yelled but it was too late, the flames were almost touching her feet when suddenly an invisible door opened in front of her. The brightness beyond the door blinded her vision but she could make out a figure.

"Be gone!" yelled the figure clocked by the bright light. The flames of the papers dissipated leaving nothing but ashes blowing in the draft coming from the opened door. The figure stepped out of the doorway towards Nana. Nana couldn't believe her eyes; she was staring into the face of her long lost Papa! "Papa," she squealed in joy as he walked towards her while pulling out a knife from his pocket. When he reached her he quickly went to work cutting through the ropes that were holding her wrists onto the cross. As he cut the last of the ropes she fell to the ground. She slowly got up eyeing her wrists, both were throbbing and a band of red was showing on both of them. She turned towards her rescuer and gasped.

"Nana, Are you all right?" Kouta flung his arms around her, his breathing was erratic. "I thought I had lost you. Nana, I never want to loose you." She felt his tears falling onto her shoulder, thus making her cry as well. "Never want to loose you," he repeated as they stood there in a loving embrace. Nana pulled away slightly so she could look into Kouta's eyes. He faced her, eyes overflowing with longing she had never seen there before. She reached up behind his head and slowly drew his lips towards hers. The longing she saw in his eyes, she felt it to. There lips collided and an explosion of emotions overtook them. The supremacy of this kiss belonged to the diclonius, though emotions were obviously dominating them both. There fiery kiss was broken by an unknown noise heard on the other side of the opened door. They both looked at the door in surprise, then, after a second, there attention returned once again to each other. As she gazed into his eyes once again she couldn't help but think 'I could sleep so easy next to you'. Kouta brought his right hand up to her face and gently brushed his finger nails across her cheek. "Nana," he whispered. "Nana," he whispered again, this time a little louder.

-End of Nana's Dream-

"Nana, wake up," Mayu said as she gently shook the sleeping diclonius in front of her. Nana's eyes shot open and she sat strait up in her bed, almost hitting Mayu as she did. "Kouta," she looked all around the room only to be disappointed by the single person in the room with her, the one who woke her.

"Nana, are you all right," a concerned and bewildered Mayu questioned as she looked at the frantic little girl she woke up, "what was that you said? Did you say Kouta?"

"Oh, it's nothing, just a dream," Nana replied, then sunk back down in her bed, now well aware of what she had just told Mayu. Suddenly she felt like she was as tall as a squashed pea.

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**A/N:** Well, there you have it, the second addition to this fic. Well, I guess that means I can't just call it a one shot anymore. I know, it took me quite a while to put this one out, I am truly sorry. I decided even though the 1st chapter was a good one-shot I couldn't leave it like that. Actually, the reason it took so long is because just wasn't happy with this chap and, honestly, I'm still not happy with it. This will, more than likely, be the last fic I post before I leave Iraq. This fic is not dead though, it's just going to be inactive for the transportation back to the states. Oh, and marry Christmas everybody, my heart goes out to everybody who lost loved ones in the war here in Iraq and Afghanistan. Holidays are the worst times for those who have lost loved ones. Inspirational music played while writing fic: Roger Waters – Amused to Death(Album); Nana's Dream: The Doors – Legacy, The Absolute Best(Album) & Jim Croce – A Long Time Ago(Song) 


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